STRAITS OF MALACCA

There is a house in Pengang
So well known to the old gang
Brace yourselves, take up the slack
In our mouths, the rubber bits
Then exposed whereon one sits
First the swish and then the crack

(chorus)
I've a predilection, a liking for the pain
Of a taste of the cat and a touch of the cain
Oh, play up, play up and play the game

Had the preference since shcool
Simply had to break the rules
Short sharp shocks, ah, swish, swish, swish
Shirt tails up, long shorts down
In a sleezy part of town
Broke a tooth? - then make a wish

(chorus)

Much it costs, this little treat
It's the high point of the week
One more drink - anaesthetised
It's a very private show
Over the table we now go
Perk your bottoms and roll your eyes

(chorus)